Saturday, February 21, 2004

 

THE PROPER USE OF INDICATORS

recently, Toni (The Purdiest girl in the universe) and I went to dinner with a single lady freind of mine from work. Since our destination was a ways away, she asked me to drive her car for her since she was tired of driving. When I sat in the drivers seat, I noticed a piece of electrical tape on the instrument panel, and I aksed her why it was there. "Oh," she replied, "The 'check engine' light won't go off, so I put the tape there so I wouldn't have to look at it."

What is wrong with this picture? If there is an indication that there may be a serious problem, should we simply cover it up and ignore it? It would seem that this is the method used by many folks, unfortunately.

The Lord provides us with scads of such indicators. Constant arguing, money problems, addictions, depressions and so on are 'check engine' lights. And yet for many of us our first impulse is to cover up the problem rather than finding out the cause and enacting a solution.

This type of glossing over problems is corporate as well as individual. We've got gay marriage, government overspending, the existance of Democrats and hundreds of other 'check engine' lights throughout the land, and yet we simply gloss over them- speak a few platitudes and move on. Is God's Word silent on such things? Does not the owners manual to the universe provide the steps to correct funtional deficiencies?

But alas, we have an ample supply of electrical tape. Why go through the trouble of looking for the true and proper repair when just covering it up is so easy to do? It is easier to justify sin than it is to repent of it.

Sigh. May the Lord cause us to run out of tape.

Theognome

Thursday, February 19, 2004

 

HERE'S WHAT I HOPE WILL BE THE LAST OF MY QUIZZES

Quizilla is back up, so I loaded in my most recent quiz. I pray it doesn't get me into too much trouble.

You are the Temple of Artemis!
You are the Temple of Artemis!

A great leader who loves a good time, youre funny,
energetic and driven. Uplifting and jovial,
you are carefree and quick to forgive and
forget. As the Temple of Artemis, you look for
the good in everything and always see the glass
as half full. Impatience does plague you, and
detailed work is a weak point. Striving
towards great accomplishments is easier for you
than accomplishing simple things, although you
tend to lose focus easily.


What Ancient Wonder of the World are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


At least this one is smaller than the last one.

Theognome
 

OKAY, JUST ONE MORE...

Putting a quiz together was kinda fun, so I thought I'd do one more before this phase of my life expired. However, the quizilla site has been down for a while, so I have not ben able to get it up and running. I've already written it, but it is trapped on MicroSoft Word until such time as their site is alive again. Keep your eyes peeled- this next one will hopefully be fun.

Theognome

Monday, February 16, 2004

 

I SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF MYSELF

With all of the quizzes flying through the internet stratosphere, I finally decided to log on to the quizilla site and write a quiz of my own. I do not guarantee that I will make writing quizzes habit forming. A quiz with three to five questions is easy. One the size of the quiz I have just finished authoring bogs their system down so badly that it is unbearable to work, and the quiz is only a dozen questions! But, I did take my own quiz, and here is the result:

You are KING DAVID!
Which Old Testament Character are you?

brought to you by Quizilla


I'd be curious if anyone else decides to waste their otherwise valuable time taking this utterly foolish quiz. By the way: No, the results are not random. The questions may seem absurd, but there really is method behind my madness. There always is.

Theognome

Saturday, February 14, 2004

 

TWO MORE FOR THE BLOGROLL

New on the list under occasional visits is The Ruminatorium I'd make him a good read except that he posts rather infrequently. But we will add Contra Tyrannos to the good read list. Good stuff!

Theognome
 

MY NAME IS EXXON VALDEZ

Well, my Purdiestness told me this morning that I had mispelled a word on the Ugly Wife Syndrome post, and so I went to the computer to fix it before I went to work. In the process, I spilled a cup of Coke all over the computer, filling the keyboard and also the front of the monitor. Both ceased to function immediately.

As soon as I got home from work, I broke out the tools and began to repair the monitor and keyboard. The monitor was easy, once I got everything apart so that I could access the sub-board that was contaminated. The keyboard, though, was a mess.

But as you can see, (or read rather), all is now better. The patient survived the surgery with flying colors. And the keyboard is cleaner now that it has been in years.

Theognome

Friday, February 13, 2004

 

UGLY WIFE SYNDROME

It is not unreasonable that many choose to scoff at the Christian community when we tout the sanctity of marriage when you consider that the Christian divorce rate (as is observable in the visible Church) is virtually indistinguishable from most other pagan groups. Now the causes for divorce are many, and most of them are frivolous if not utterly bogus. So, I would like to talk about one of the bogus reasons that cause divorce, or is at least a major contributing factor in those divorces that I have been close to as well as those marriages that I’ve observed that are all but dead. Here it is: Ugly Wife Syndrome.

A woman with Ugly Wife Syndrome is a woman who has no respect for her husband. This takes many forms, which may include one or more of the following:

1. Serious weight problems
2. Nagging
3. Pursuing a career at the expense of the home
4. Insulting her husband
5. Dressing like a whore
6. Feminism
7. Carousing
8. Binge spending
9. Doing everything ‘for the sake of the kids’
10. Drug or alcohol abuse

This list is by no means exhaustive, and in some cases there may be other causes for some of the above symptoms. However, if three or more of these are present, you may indeed be dealing with Ugly Wife Syndrome.

Now there is a cure for this. An ugly wife can be a beautiful wife. But to understand the cure, we must first understand the cause. What causes Ugly Wife Syndrome? Simple: Ugly Wife Syndrome is the result of Stupid Husband Myopia. To cure a wife of Ugly Wife Syndrome you must first cure the husband of Stupid Husband Myopia.

Stupid Husband Myopia is a condition where the husband can’t see that his wife’s beauty is his responsibility and not hers. Here are some of the symptoms of Stupid Husband Myopia:

1. Referring to his wife as a nag, bat, ball and chain, bitch or any other derrogative for any reason
2. Failing to compliment his wife’s beauty at every opportunity
3. Relying on his wife’s leadership instead of leading the household himself
4. Ignoring his wife, especially during televised sporting events
5. Sending his wife to work to ‘make ends meet’ instead of making them meet himself
6. Refusing to acknowledge his wife, insisting that she is stupid or incompetent
7. Flirting with other women, sometimes even when his wife is present
8. Comparing his wife to other women unfavorably (Why can’t you be more like _____?)
9. Drug or alcohol abuse
10. Putting his career above his duty to his family

This list is by no means exhaustive, and in some cases there may be other causes for some of the above symptoms. However, if three or more of these are present, you may indeed be dealing with Stupid Husband Myopia.

So, if we can cure the husband of Stupid Husband Myopia, the wife will in turn be cured of Ugly Wife Syndrome. The cures do take time, depending on the extent that the diseases have ravaged the marriage- from a few months to several years. But the results are more than worth the effort, for with these afflictions cured, a happy, productive marriage will result.

To cure a husband of Stupid Husband Myopia, his eyes must be opened to the truth about his role in marriage. Ephesians 5:25-33 isn’t there to give folks a warm fuzzy when the preacher mentions it. It’s a commandment. Hey, hubbo, you’re the head! And guess who’s act you have to follow? Christ’s act! The cure for Stupid Husband Syndrome is found in the following scriptures (and this list is not exhaustive):

1. The whole book of the Song of Solomon (also called the Song of Songs)
2. Ephesians 5:25-33
3. Genesis 2:18-23, 12:10-12
4. Colossians 3:19
5. Titus 2:4
6. 1 Peter 3:7

As you can see, it all about loving your wives, and seeing them as Christ see His Church- without flaw or blemish; perfect and blameless, the apple of your eye and the greatest blessing that the Lord has given to you upon this earth. Any Husband who can grasp this and act upon it will have cured himself of Stupid Husband Myopia, and the blessings of a beautiful wife will be upon him.

Theognome


 

A SURE FIRE CURE FOR DEPRESSION

Have you ever been kinda low? You know, not in the best of moods? Maybe somewhat psychopathic? Well if that ever describes you, here's a way you can cure any kind of depression, anxiety, worry and in some cases even PMS.

Go outside and find a stretch of sidewalk at least 1/4 mile long. If there is a park nearby, that would be even better. Now then, once you're there, begin skipping. Skip (to my Lou will work) for 15 minutes straight. well, follow the turns of the path if it does not go straight. It's guaranteed to work- not only is it healthy, but it is nigh on impossible to be in a bad mood while skipping. Go ahead, try it. Don't we feel better now?

Theognome

Sunday, February 08, 2004

 

COUNTRIES AND STUFF

Okay. Since Toni showed y'all the states she's been to, I went ahead and did the country version:



create your own visited country map
or write about it on the open travel guide


...And here's my state map to boot:



create your own visited states map
or write about it on the open travel guide


Theognome
 

I COULD BE A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE

Sorry for being so tardy folks. I've had a busy week, and blogging had to take a back-burner for a bit. When I'm rich and famous, or president (whichever comes first) I probably wouldn't have those challenges.

But I do spend a lot of time driving the highways of Southron California in my work, so I do listen to news radio a bit. And I have found that, after following the caucuses and primaries last week, that I could be a good presidental candidate. Since 'electability' is most important right now, rather than minor issues like character, integrity and beliefs of a person, I think I could do well as a Democratic presidential candidate, even though I'm not a Democrat (That may not be important for them, either). Consider what I have going for me:

1. After extensive dental work, I have good looking teeth (all candidates must pass the 'horse check').

2. My hairstyle is conservative, with just enough grey in the temples to suggest wisdom (it's a suggestion only).

3. I can buy suits off of the rack because my build is not unusual nor am I very overweight (I wonder how Ahhnold got past this one).

4. I can put a plus on one end of a sentence and a minus at the other end; so that what I say doesn't add up to anything (what did he say again?).

5. My wife is beautiful with great tastes in clothing (Toni told me not to forget to mention 'exotic and regal looking'. Wow, White House here we come!).

6. I can claim that I've never inhaled (which doesn't mean that it's true- see #4).

7. Lacking no major facial blemishes, a good make-up artist can have me camera ready in only five minutes.

8. I've served in the military during war time (never mind that I slept through most of it. That's what Navy folks do best).

9. I've got a great voice for reading speaches that other folks write.

10. I've got lots of charisma, so that people are naturally drawn to me (gee, both Clinton and Hitler had that one in common, too).

So, with all of that going for me, I don't see why I couldn't be a great president. Vote Theognome in 2004!

Theognome

Sunday, February 01, 2004

 

A PRAYER REQUEST

My mother in law, Pat, who lives with us (aka loveable mama) has been having some rather serious problems with her leg. She's been on steroid therapy for about three weeks now as well as physical therapy. Well, she fell Friday night, and she's pretty much immobile right now (which is why I've been a bit scarce). Please lift her up in your prayers.

Theognome

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